D is for Death

Death has always been very uncomfortable for me even since I was a little girl. As a Christian, I know that death shouldn't be uncomfortable and scary for me, but it is. When someone dies, I always have nightmares or my mind wanders and I feel like they are standing around my bed at night. I do not like funerals, viewings, hospitals, or funeral homes. My greatest fear in life is probably death. Please don't judge. I am a Christian, and I know that I will be Heaven bound when I die. I know this without a shadow of a doubt. But, for some reason, I can't shake my fear of death. As a mom, my fear is that I will die and leave my kids behind. As a daughter, I fear that I will have to bury my parents. As a wife, I fear that my husband will be taken and I will be left to be a single mom. As a granddaughter, I have lost a grandpa and both of my grandmas. We are never guaranteed tomorrow, and that leaves me uncomfortable.

Recently, I lost my grandma. She lived a long life but also suffered from Alzheimer's for several years. In the last two weeks of her life, we literally watched her life fade away. We saw her become more frail and skinny, we watched her slip into a coma, we watched her breathing change, we watched her coloring fade, and eventually watched her take her last breath. That was the first time that I actually witnessed the dying process with my very own eyes. As she got worse the last few days, we prayed and prayed that God would just take her home. It was a very unique feeling for me to pray that prayer. Death makes me scared and uncomfortable, but I was praying that God would take her.

I don't know if I will ever get over the fear of death and dying. I know that fear is not of God. I don't know how to get over this fear I have of death. In a way, I think being fearful of death is ok. Maybe it is supposed to be a wake up call to us. We aren't guaranteed another day, year, month, minute, second. We may be left a widow. We may be left as a single parent. We may be left an "orphan" after burying parents. We may be left as a parent without a child/children. As scary as death may be, I still have hope in the midst of that fear. I have the hope that I will see those loved ones again as long as they have invited Him into their hearts to live forever. As a mom, I want to see my kids again. As a wife, I long to see my husband again. As a daughter, I want to see my parents again. As a sister, I want to see my sister again. I don't think any of us want to die, but I do believe we all want to end up at the same destination.

If you desire that same hope that I have, I pray that you would seek God out and invite him into your life. God is our healer, comforter, great physician, lover, and our Savior. I pray that if you haven't done so before, that you would ask Christ to be your Lord and Savior. Death puts you in the ground. The One living in your heart determines your destination. If you have not asked Him into your life to be your eternal Lord and Savior, and you understand that you are a sinner and that He died for your sin and my sin and rose again, I ask that you sincerely pray this prayer to yourself wherever you may be....

“Dear Lord Jesus,

I know I am a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe you died for my sins and rose from the dead.  I trust and follow you as my Lord and Savior. Guide my life and help me to do your will.

In your name, amen.”

If you prayed that prayer, and you meant it, that is your way into Heaven when God takes you from the earth at your time. Yes, death may still be scary and uncomfortable, but in the midst of that fear and anxiety, you can have the very same hope I do. 

If you prayed that prayer, would you mind sending me an email? My email address is tugradhc@yahoo.com

I won't embarrass you, I simply want to pray for you as you start your new journey as a Christian. 

Philippians 1:6

 "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."